talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
