Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
