Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
