this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
