Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
