Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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