i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
