my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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