I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
