Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
