It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
