Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
