Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
