i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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