I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
