Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
