So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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