mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
