The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
