don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
