I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
