Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
