then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
