when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
