return my video game
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
