You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
