I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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