You're completely useless in the revolution.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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