For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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