Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
