I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
