Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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