You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
