I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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