and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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