Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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