She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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