I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
