Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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