nut hugger
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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