I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
