Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
