What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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