Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
