Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
