Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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