I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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