Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
