Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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