so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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