Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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