You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
